Instead of 17 Lies, I will Teach My Kids 5 Truths about Sexual Intimacy

There's a list going around social media entitled “17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex.” I've had a few conversations about it, and I just can’t stay silent. As much as I don't want to aid the efforts of its popularity, you’re free to check it out using the link above.

Some of lies mentioned are truly lies. Our girls (and boys alike) need to know that sexual harassment is not okay, that it is always okay to say “no”, and that everyone, in fact, is not doing it. However, as a former high school teacher, youth group volunteer, mom, and a believer in Jesus Christ, I cannot be all right with the overall ideas in this article.

This has made me start thinking about how I have taught students in the past and how I will teach my kids in the future. I’ve decided rather than try to cleverly come up with "lies" I think the culture has made, I will teach truth from the God of Creation.

1. I will teach that our bodies are temples of the Living God who created us (1 Cor. 6:19-20). We have been told to keep them pure and holy out of love and respect for our Creator. That should be a part of every aspect of our lives. It goes down to the foods we eat, exercise, the TV we watch, and sexual intimacy.

2. I will teach that even though the world (especially America) has made it confusing with its obsession to sexualize everything, once we are followers of Christ we are called not to conform to this world but be transformed by the Holy Spirit (Romans 12:2). What we put into our hearts and our minds is very important (Matt. 5:27-28). We don't stay away from the nastiness the world has to offer because of rules and laws, we stay away from it because once the Holy Spirit has begun its work in us, we see with a Kingdom perspective that things like casual sex, pornography, and sex outside of marriage are ultimately not good for us, our family, or our community. I will NEVER be okay with ANYONE trying to teach my children or children that I have connection to that any of those things are acceptable.

**If you are a teenage girl who has read the list of 17 lies, please consider that the God of the Universe knows better than any hands behind a keyboard…including my own. Seek that first. It is truth that every heart longs for whether they’re aware of the gaping hole or not.

3. I will teach that intimacy between a husband and wife is beautiful and God-made (Ephesians 5:20-29). Students and young adults who are waiting until marriage should not have in their mind that intimacy is wrong (Hebrews 13:4). They should have in their mind that it is going to be spectacular with the one God has created for them. It'll be really, really great considering the entire dating or courtship relationship is like foreplay until the wedding night. I actually can’t even come up with a single Bible verse, so just go check Song of Solomon. Grab a commentary if you need help understanding what’s happening, but I promise, they’re enjoying one another.

4. I will teach that in God's eyes all sins are equal, but on earth the consequences vary. God will forgive, but that does not cancel the actions here, sexual and otherwise. His Word teaches (whether our society wants to accept it or not) that there is no sin quite like sexual sin. It is something done to one's body... His temple (1 Cor. 6:18). The consequences are often more severe emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

5. Most importantly, because Jesus himself said it was the second most important commandment, I will teach that we are called to love (Matt. 22:36-40). Everyone. No matter what. I will also teach the students under my leadership and the babies under my roof that there is nothing they have done or can do that can make me not love them, and their God feels the same way. He is a God of forgiveness and new beginnings. If there have been mistakes made and relationships had outside of His design, He is ALWAYS waiting with open arms to offer mercy and grace. There is NOTHING that can be done that He will not forgive. He loved YOU so much that He sent His Son not to condemn the world, but to save it (John 3:17). He could foresee. He knows we’re imperfect and foolish, but He loves us and desires to save us anyway!

Jesus wants you in His family no matter what your past looks like. He created us to desire relationships, and He can restore and create healthy ones in your life if you allow Him. This is not a message of shame and regret…that the author of the 17 lies wants to fight against. This is a message of hope.